1000% I USED TO GIVE A FUCK: A game about slacking off at work, written while slacking off at work

This game is written to be played in a workplace environment when your boss isn't looking. It can be played via Microsoft Teams, Slack, another chat program for business professionals, or surreptitiously on Discord on your phone. If played in person, it can and should be played using stolen office equipment for any physical materials.

You and your COWORKERS have jobs you don't like, but the money is alright enough.

You play as your WORKSONA. Your WORKSONA is a lot like you, but has a different job. Their job is meaningless white-collar work. It is not personally fulfilling. In fact, it is usually somewhere between dull and aggravating. But it's better than retail. Your WORKSONA has a name and other mundane personal details. They also have three PAIN POINTS.

First, you have a VALUE. This is something you enjoy and cannot enjoy while at work. It may be a hobby, relationship, or something else entirely.

Second, you have a MISALIGNMENT. This is something that makes your time at work worse. It may be your boss, a point of policy, some part of your responsibilities, or something else entirely.

Third, you have a DARK SECRET. This is something that, were it revealed, would jeopardize your employment. It may or may not be something that it would be illegal to actually fire you for. That doesn't mean it can't still jeopardize your employment.

You and the other players are COWORKERS. You have been assigned a PROJECT together. This PROJECT is not personally enriching, nor will it further your career. In fact, it may not be clear how it actually makes the company money.

Each player should keep track of their single stat: FUCKS. This represents your ability to care about the money more than you dislike your job. If playing in person, consider using stolen sticky notes. The number of FUCKS is adjustable depending on the length of the game, but six is recommended to start.

During play, each player in turn comes up with an OBSTACLE. This is something that must be overcome for the sake of the PROJECT. Each player describes what they do to overcome this OBSTACLE while putting in the minimum possible effort. Everyone must contribute in some way, however much they wish not to, but they can also do any number of things to avoid working while hoping other people fix the problem. If most of the players agree that someone has contributed, they have contributed.

If, during play, something reminds your worksona of their PAIN POINTS, you lose one FUCK. In addition, the player who did the most actual work on an OBSTACLE loses a FUCK.

When you run out of FUCKS, you immediately CRASH OUT. Describe how you quit your job in spectacular fashion, do something that gets you fired, or disappear.

When all players but one have CRASHED OUT, the last remaining player is laid off because the team is underperforming and the boss needs to cut payroll expenses to get a bonus. Everyone loses.